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His wife says “Why don’t you put an ad in the paper?”He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.“What did you put in the paper?” his wife asks.“Here boy!” he replies...A blond man is in jail ... Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.“Hanging myself,” the blond replies.“It should be around your neck” says the guard.“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe”.( This one actually makes sense ... well, sort of... )An Italian tourist asks a blond man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”To which the blond man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A guy is walking along Whyte Avenue when he comes across a lamp partially buried in a garbage can.He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.The guy thinks for a moment and says, “I want to live forever.”“Sorry,” said the genie, “I’m not allowed to grant eternal. I’d had a permanent hard on since we’d met in the street over 5 hours earlier. I’d wanked off a couple of times but I still had a set of lover’s bollocks painful enough to make me walk like I’d just got off a horse. What I saw made my already hard dick jerk to attention and painfully remind me just how sore my balls were.She was dressed in shinny red and purple latex that looked like it had been sprayed on. The purple tube top hugged her upper body and she obviously didn’t wear a bra underneath. The top finished just below her perfect tits and showed about 12 inches of flawless brown skin then a tight deep red micro skirt that embraced her slender hips. A couple of inches of naked thigh separated the hem of the skirt and the top of purple latex stockings that hugged her long legs. Red stiletto heeled strappy sandals accentuated those long slender legs. Her eyeliner matched her top and lipstick matched her skirt. You have to take into account that this was almost 40 years ago when.
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